发布:2011-11-10 原作:鬼泣 作者:fiammanda 人物:但丁×维吉尔 分级:T 说明:各种片断灭文法。 字数:2.6 K 阅览:<span id="busuanzi_value_page_pv"></span> > 看一眼,就继续向前走吧。 > <cite>——但丁</cite> ## 流水的妹子铁打的哥哥 ### 二十字微小说及乱入 #### AU 平行宇宙剧情 我应该和你一起跳下去。 #### Angst 焦虑 他伸出手,只握到没出口的那声呼喊。 #### Cross-dressing 异装癖 “三代里你穿的那是什么?抹胸?” #### Fantasy 幻想 “……下次一定要试试把草莓圣代涂在他身上!” #### Fetish 恋物癖 “嘿别装了,我感觉到硬硬的东西了。” “(拔刀)你是说阎魔吗?” #### First Time 第一次 “唔,比被阎魔捅的感觉好多了。” #### Future Fic 未来 “欢迎回家。” #### Hurt/Comfort 伤害/慰藉 他愿意让阎魔永远钉在身体里。 只要它能填补那种空虚。 #### Liars "I just don't like you, that's all." "Leave me and go." #### 作者的妄想 春天种下一个刻录机…… ……秋天就能收获一群小奶油! #### 圣代×1 “哥我买了冰激凌机,我们可以在家做圣代了!我很贤惠吧。” “你是很闲。” #### 圣代×2 “不管你是谁,只要你动了我的草莓圣代,我就会让Rebellion亲你一口。听见了吗,哥哥?” #### 圣代×3 “从小到大因为那个麻烦弟弟的缘故,街坊邻居对我有不少误解。不过唯一没有错的是,我确实喜欢蓝莓圣代。” #### 相处模式·红方 “说爱我。”“爱我。” “说爱我。”“愚蠢。” “说爱我。”“今天天气不错。” “说爱我。”“(拔刀)阎魔爱死你了。” “说爱我。”“呵呵。” “说爱我。”“(哔——)。” #### 相处模式·蓝方 “说爱我。”“唉……” “说爱我。”“蠢货。” “说爱我。”“看——灰机!” “说爱我。”“不说你就拔刀是吗?” “说爱我。”“哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈……” “说爱我。”“(哔——)。” #### 激怒维吉尔(或自杀)的几种方法 A Few Ways to Annoy Vergil, or A Few Ways to Kill Yourself 老是把他和蛋蛋搞混。 老是假装把他和蛋蛋搞混。 每次见到都问他“你名字怎么拼?” 每次见到都问他“你名字怎么读?” 老是把他的名字读成Virgin。 问他还是不是Virgin。 如果他说是,问他四代里那个小鬼哪来的。 问他生孩子危险吗。 问他他们兄弟是曼达斯生的还是艾娃生的。 还是斯巴达生的。 把他的发胶藏起来。 把他的发胶换成染发剂。 把他的发胶换成胶水。 问他“你连内裤都是蓝的吗?” 问他是不是在和光头约会。 问他他的项链是不是可开合式的,里面是不是夹了蛋蛋的裸百度照。 问他看不看得懂和泉的分镜。 把各(你懂的)论坛贴吧的存在告诉他。 #### 论DMC和SPN的共同点 01、娘没了。 02、爹不见了。 03、娘是给恶魔弄死的。 04、爹要拯救人类。 05、主角是一对兄弟。 06、兄弟之间很基。 07、哥哥想继承父亲。 08、弟弟不承认这个家。 09、兄弟中有一个后来去魔界了。 10、魔王和爹有不明不白的关系。 11、Saving people, hunting things, family business. 12、兄弟中有一个永远不缺妹子。 13、流水的妹子铁打的兄弟。 ### 五十词挑战 #### 01 Chains They've been chained to each other since birth. #### 02 Art Dante always admires the way his brother sways a sword. #### 03 Lace He laced the yellow ribbon (Dante bought for him) to Yamato, though it did not match his coat at all. #### 04 Pride He can kill a dozen of Prides in one second, but not the pride inside himself. #### 05 Origin One rebels against his origin, and the other against his love. #### 06 Confession Ready to fight. Ready to die. #### 07 Danger The most dangerous place is the safest, and the most dangerous person is the one he desires most. #### 08 Silence Agni and Rudra kept talking about brothers that day. #### 09 Liars "I just don't like you, that's all." "Leave me and go." #### 10 Sacrifice I have to stop you, even if that means killing you. (from DMC3) #### 11 Pierce Devil may care. #### 12 Katana Surprisingly, it hurt a lot. #### 13 Cry He reached out for nothing but a cry which has never been let out. #### 14 Viscera Why can't the heart heal as soon as other organs? #### 15 Bandage It cannot heal a heart. #### 16 Remnant He couldn't help forcing the kid into his devil trigger. or But in the end, only one was left standing. (Yep from DMC3 again) #### 17 Justice It doesn't matter that who's right but who's left. #### 18 Epic He would rather say it's a tragedy. #### 19 Slut Why are you such a slut to power? #### 20 Maggot When will you be back. #### 21 Corpse The glove lies dead on the corner of his desk. #### 22 Specimen He's not the best specimen of a brother. He should have jumped with him. #### 23 Sundae It melts in tears. #### 24 <em lang="en">Lucifer</em> It reminds him of the Summoned Swords each and every time. #### 25 Secret He looks into the mirror (and it laughs back). #### 26 Wings They cannot take him to his side. #### 27 Terminal He believes everything will be okay in the end. If it is not okay, it is not end. #### 28 Sodom "If I find my brother in the city of sin, I will pardon the whole place for his sake." #### 29 Jackpot "In this business a lot of devils comes a long, and I'm wondering if I kill each one that comes, eventually I will hit the jackpot sooner or later." Then he killed his first prize. #### 30 Blind He killed Nelo Angelo. #### 31 Save And he needed a "Load" as well. #### 32 Paralysis It feels somewhat like being pinned by Yamato. #### 33 First night At least it feels better than Yamato! #### 34 Flesh It recovered so fast, that he felt some emptiness inside. #### 35 Incest Trish just shrugs: "At least it seems to be a little healthier than the Oedipus complex." #### 36 Father Aka father-in-law. #### 37 Fetish "Hmmm, I can feel something hard there." "You mean Yamato?" #### 38 Intensive He planned an intensive training before DMC3 Mission 20. #### 39 Cocktail "Lady, I notice that a cocktail suits you well." "Which one?" "Bloody Mary." #### 40 Miniskirt Dante brushed his hair backwards and put on the miniskirt. #### 41 Cross-dressing "Dante, What are you wearing in the third game? A bra?" #### 42 Decompose "Go and throw that pizza under your desk immediately and at once!" #### 43 Freezing "Not my fault! The freezer isn't working!" #### 44 Necklace "Love me or the necklace?" "Love me or the pizza?" #### 45 Brothel "Where did you learn <em lang="en">PolePlay</em>, my dear little brother?" #### 46 Virgin "...Then what about the kid in DMC4?" "Die!" #### 47 Pregnancy "How did you manage it? I mean the kid." "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" #### 48 Pet "Hell it's so big!" Dante presented the Force Edge to Cerberus, "Can you track this scent?" #### 49 Completion To each other. #### 50 Celebration Thanks Spard, Capcom decides to release DMC5 which explains everything about Vergil rather than that DmC crap. --- #### Art 艺术 哥哥翩若神,阎魔灿如霞。 #### Chains 枷锁 最宝贵的东西。最坚固的枷锁。 #### Katana 刀 他的刀插在鲜血的鞘里。 #### Pride 骄傲 他没法放弃战场,和他一起活下去。 #### Pierce 刺穿 那时候他是真真正正体会到了什么叫为兄弟两肋插刀…… ### 兄弟猎奇问 #### 00 但丁:说起来这种OOXX多少问不是三五年前的老梗吗?用到现在还有收视率吗? 蕾蒂:鬼泣也是三五年前的游戏了。还有虽然知道你大概是在用OO指代兄弟,XX指代猎奇,但为什么听起来感觉这么奇怪呢? #### 01 蕾蒂:你们的名字? 但丁:Dante,大陆正式翻译是但丁,还有包括蛋疼、蛋蛋、蛋叔、老蛋、丁丁、红猫之类的奇怪昵称。 维吉尔:Vergil,大陆正式翻译是维吉尔,我见过最猎奇的翻译是<del>巴基撸</del>巴吉鲁,最猎奇的昵称是蓝兔。 蕾蒂:(记:红猫和蓝兔。) #### 02 蕾蒂:性别是? 维吉尔:看题目。 但丁:说起来奇怪的是就算是原版的夫妻相性,这一题好像也都是俩男的。是我的知识面太狭隘了吗? 蕾蒂:……你的知识面都是怎么来的? #### 03 蕾蒂:什么时候在哪里相遇?(记:0岁艾娃肚子里。)这题我给你们回答算了,深究下去不知道出现什么猎奇的答案。 维吉尔:我大概知道你在想什么,但看建模就知道我们是同卵双胞胎,从受精卵开始分裂的。 蕾蒂:(扶额)怎么感觉更猎奇了…… #### 04 蕾蒂:对对方的第一印象? 但丁:没我帅。 蕾蒂:……醒醒你们只建过一次模。 #### 05 蕾蒂:假如男人可以怀孕,你们希望有孩子吗? 但丁:想到尼禄我就对这一假设毫无兴趣…… #### 06 蕾蒂:承上,谁生?……恩我知道是维吉尔。 #### 07 蕾蒂:再承上,生几个? 维吉尔:一个就够了…… #### 08 蕾蒂:一起出去吃饭结果吃了一堆之后发现双方都没钱,你会怎么办?感觉是很常见的场景啊。 但丁:打电话找你。 蕾蒂:……果然是很常见的场景。 #### 09 蕾蒂:一觉醒来你发现你被对方卖掉了,你是什麼反应? 兄弟:我会卖他?这货卖得出去……? 乱入:举爪,都卖给我吧,我想要但丁当男朋友,再要维吉尔当玩具(泥垢 作者:买得起养不起啊…… 但丁:说到这里我突然有了一个绝妙的注意——我们把尼禄给卖了吧! #### 10 蕾蒂:亲人跟对方落水,你选择救? 但丁:除了他我也没有别的亲人了吧? 蕾蒂:听说尼禄是维吉尔生的? 维吉尔:管那小子去死。 蕾蒂:(究竟指谁啊……) #### 11 蕾蒂:假如对方被歹徒拿刀架著,你的反应是? 但丁:……我都做不到这种事!谁武力值这么高啊! 维吉尔:让他杀了五代制作。 #### 12 蕾蒂:对方脱光光躺在你床上摆出诱惑的姿态,你会? 但丁:……哪个恶魔伪装的吧? #### 13 蕾蒂:承上,改成最爱的人,可是你却发现你硬不起来。这时候你觉得? 维吉尔:捅他一刀他就硬了。 蕾蒂:……那你呢? 但丁:……那不还有阎魔吗。 #### 14 蕾蒂:你是他脚踏六条船中的第六,得知这件事情的时候你将? 维吉尔:把剩下五条切了。 --- (Discontinued.)